What is Love?

I’m in love with my husband. There. I said it. I am hopelessly, happily, and madly in love with my husband.

That wasn’t something always easy to admit to anyone other than him and my children. I would find myself amongst a gaggle of women talking about all the things wrong with their husbands. It usually consisted of tasks they do, at which their husband had failed. Or some form of parenting miscommunication. Rarely was it about sex or lack there of. Which speaks more to their relationships than the complaints do.

During these hen sessions, I would sit back, listen and laugh at the appropriate moments. All the while, I was thinking to myself, “My husband is f-ing amazing. Some of these guys are real fools.” Or “Hmm. I wonder if they’ll get a divorce.” I never felt comfortable bashing my husband in a crowd. Yet I also found that I had nothing to actually complain about. I would smile and nod and betray my love by saying something like “I know exactly what you mean, girl.”

No. I didn’t.

These women who had marriages longer than mine should have been my guides. Instead I learned what not to do in my marriage. Don’t treat your husband like one of your children. Don’t treat your husband like a babysitter. Don’t treat your husband like an afterthought. Don’t treat your husband like an accessory.

I hope these women gripe as if to say, “This man is so amazing to me that I have to warn all the other ladies away from him. I have to keep him all to myself. How can I do that? Oh, I know. I’ll make them think he’s a total a-hole!”

But recently I realized something. My husband makes mistakes, too. As do I. We aren’t perfect by any means. I have commitment issues.

Funny, right?

We had a length of time where we argued every night, our weight fluctuated from emotional eating, and we had dry spells. But I never saw it as bad. I saw it as work or a work in progress. I’ve had friends ask me for relationship advice and been, for the most part, at a loss. I’ve offered a variety of advice— from simple platitudes to words of wisdom so profound I was sure I was possessed by Dr. Ruth.

What is love anyway? Is it never knowing what your significant other is craving emotionally? Is it miscommunication and misunderstandings and unwavering support? Is it great sex, lots of laughs, and understanding when one of you needs a moment to just breathe?

Yes.

I met my husband when I was 22. He jokes often about taking me off the market before I had a chance to see what was out there. Well, I’ve got news for him. I needn’t have looked any further. What we have is full of open communication, understanding, support, admiration, devotion, and pure goofball, rom-com, puppy love.

(BEWARE THE CHEESE)

You know that moment in Infinity War when Steve Rogers comes out of the shadows at the train station? Feel that flutter? That’s how I feel about my man.

Love is complicated and messy. But it’s worth it.

And to my friends reading this, I say It’s about time you read my blog!