In the season of giving, we become very aware of the needs of others. Who doesn’t have what they need? Who missed out last year? Who is collecting for the have-nots? While we should remember to do unto others as we would want for ourselves, this is your reminder that you must also pour back into you. This is the home stretch. It’s the end of the year. A time for reflection, rest, recovery, and (dare I say) restoration. 

Bearing the burden of this holiday season, with its dinners, holiday shopping, mash up of personalities gathered around the table, vegans and carnivores dining together, and the general headache of kids and teens being on the streets in broad daylight can empty anyone’s cup.

Ten months out of the year, adults are strapped with giving to their children (if they have them) and/or their parents (if they’re living). That’s in addition to siblings, other family members, friends, work, hobbies, eating right (when you can), and being a generally good person. It’s exhausting! 

I implore you to, as motivational speaker Lisa Nichols says, overflow your cup and give from the saucer. When was the last time you gave yourself the grace to do what you needed to fill your cup? Do you know what your limits are when it comes to the amount of time you can spend socializing? Is it 15 minutes? Is it 20? 30? How much time do you need in order to recover from a social gathering like Thanksgiving dinner or a company holiday party? Learn your limits. Know the edge of enough before it becomes too much.

The last thing we want, going into the new year, is a lack of empathy for our own well being. It is not selfish to let your mother- or sister-in-law cook or bring a dish. Yes, we know yours is better. They’ll eat it anyway. Send a kid to the store when you run out of paprika (I mean, I never do, but I’m sure it happens to someone.)

Sit down. 

Relax. 

Restore. 

Some great ways to check in with yourself: 

Meditation: If you don’t know how to do this, there a quite a few apps to help you. Balance is my current favorite, as well as Youtube and the library, all for free!

Calling a trusted friend or family member: While venting can be a great way to unload, do be mindful of the transfer of negative energy. Also remember not to retraumatize yourself by reliving your bad day and putting yourself back into your sour mood. Instead, calling a friend should be about catching up, connecting, and cackling about life.  

*We’ll discuss how to stop them from dumping on you in Advice for the Socially Awkward.

Journaling (my favorite): Journaling is a great place to unburden negative feelings. I even go so far as to write letters to the emotions that come up, questioning what they want in the first place. 

Playing around with these restorative self care modalities will help you learn what truly calms you as you learn your limits so you can set boundaries. This week, commit to one restorative practice—whether it’s sitting down during dinner prep, journaling your feelings, or meditating for five minutes. This restoration will lead to an overflowing cup, a saucer full of well-managed priorities, and the energy to step into the new year feeling empowered and refreshed.